Navigating Social Challenges as Adults
I recently came across a talk by Katie Morton on YouTube “Why Making Friends as an Adult is Difficult”, and it resonated with me deeply. Her insights into the challenges adults face when building friendships felt particularly relatable, especially for those of us in our 30s and beyond.
In today’s world, social media and technology have made life incredibly convenient. From ordering groceries online to attending virtual meetings, many tasks no longer require face-to-face interaction. The pandemic only accelerated this shift, with remote work and Zoom calls becoming the norm. For introverts or those living in remote areas, this can feel like a blessing. However, this convenience often comes at a cost: reduced opportunities for organic, in-person social connections.
As we grow older, our life experiences shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world around us. This evolution is a natural part of life. When we were children or young adults, making friends felt simpler. We weren’t as discerning about who we let into our lives because we were still figuring out who we were. Friendships during those years were often built around shared activities or circumstances—being in the same class, playing on the same sports team, or working the same part-time job.
By the time we reach our 30s, many of us have developed clearer preferences and boundaries. As Katie Morton pointed out, some people are already married with children, which adds another layer of complexity for those without family commitments. We may find ourselves asking: Do I have the energy or time to maintain this connection? Does this person align with my values or bring positivity into my life? While this discernment is valuable, it also makes forming new friendships more intentional and at times, more challenging.
For those of us who have lived in different countries, maintaining friendships from our travels adds yet another layer of complexity. While social media helps us stay connected, the demands of life and physical distance can cause some of these relationships to fade—and that’s okay. Time has a way of revealing the strength and depth of connections. True friendships withstand the test of time, while others may naturally drift away.
It’s also important to know that not every social event or opportunity to "put ourselves out there" is necessary. For introverts especially, trying to keep up with too many social obligations can quickly lead to burnout. The key is understanding your own balance and setting boundaries. As we move through adulthood, many of us become more aware of our limitations, thanks to the lessons learned in our younger years. We know when to step forward and when to give ourselves permission to take a step back.
The good news is that building meaningful connections doesn’t require saying yes to everything. Sometimes, it’s about choosing quality over quantity—seeking out spaces or relationships that align with who we are today, not just who we used to be.
What about you? Have you found it harder or easier to navigate friendships as an adult?